Merlot

When you’re all dressed up with no where to go and a pretty girl comes in and smiles at you, what do you do? According to Merlot, you knead the ground with your gloves, arch your back suggestively, squeak several times to get attention (because this is what you do when you haven’t learnt to meow yet) and circle her legs until she picks you up and plies you with kisses. Merlot knows the way to a lady’s heart, and in doing his affectionate dance, he sparked a love two beings just can’t deny. (Note to humans: Merlot says this is a surefire way to win the affections of a nice lady. You’d do well to follow his advice)